


i am weary; let me rest

by vade_brucestephenbucky



Series: The State of Our Affairs - Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Exhaustion, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Post-Canon, Post-Promised Day, Riza Hawkeye Has Nightmares, Royai - Freeform, Sharing a Bed, Sleeping Together, Weight Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:33:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26051944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vade_brucestephenbucky/pseuds/vade_brucestephenbucky
Summary: Riza struggles to find rest after returning to her home from the hospital. Even after finally falling asleep, she can't seem to stay asleep for long. But Roy being Roy, is going to do everything in his power to help her through it.
Relationships: Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Series: The State of Our Affairs - Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1884217
Comments: 9
Kudos: 49





	i am weary; let me rest

**Author's Note:**

> hello once again! i got the idea of riza struggling after being discharged from the hospital about five days ago and even though it took me a little while to actually get it all down, i liked how it turned out. i do hope you enjoy as well!

Even though Riza was the first thing Roy saw when he regained his sight, she wasn’t pretty. Not in the state she was in, where Roy could feel the heat coming off of her neck from her wound when the rest of her body was as cold as ice, the grease in her unwashed hair on his fingers when he pulled his hand away from her scalp. Her eyes were sunk in, circled by dark rings of lack of sleep. Her ribs had begun to poke out from beneath her skin, and he knew her old wounds had flared up from the way she tensed the muscles in her back. 

And it was the same for Roy. His jet black hair appeared damp in the light, weighed down by oils produced by the strands. His collarbones jutted out of his chest, and his eyes, oh how his eyes had suffered in his time of blindness, were dry. They often ached when he blinked, for he had picked up a habit of sleeping with his eyes open.

So when Roy could finally see the state of both himself and Riza, he was overcome with the realization that they were both skin and bones, nothing but shells of their former physical selves. He picked up the habit of placing his hand on his chest and running his hands down the bones that bulged from beneath his flesh. When he held Riza in an embrace, he found himself tracing her ribs from above her shirt and her cheekbones with his thumbs when they kissed. 

Soon after the heat fell out of her wound for more than a night, they were discharged from the hospital. And of course, they went home together, to Riza’s home. It was closest to the hospital, and Roy could always send someone to get his clothes. He didn’t have to worry about that. 

But, as he always did, he worried about Riza. He worried about how she’d sleep back home if she’d finally be able to get some rest after the hell they had been through. He worried she’d try to hide her suffering, bit her lip when pain surges throughout her neck. She wouldn’t even do that much and Roy would know. He didn’t have to rely on just spoken word with Riza, he could sense and see everything she wanted him to know. 

It was late at night in the evening when they were discharged, just after suppertime for the night. What little storage they had was already collected together and waiting to be transported to their vehicle. One of Roy’s men would bring the Ishvalan textbooks to their home in the morning, for neither of them was permitted to carry them. 

“Just give me a call when you want the books to be brought over, sir.” 

Roy nodded and gave a tight smile, hiding the weakness he felt pulling at his side. “Thank you, Fuery, for everything you’ve done for Riza and I. You’re a good man.” 

“Have a good night, Sergeant.” Riza bid him farewell as he stepped into the vehicle with a salute to them both and drove off. She and Roy waved him off and soon, the car was out of sight.

Roy shifted his focus to Riza, softening his expression as he wrapped his arm around Riza’s waist, letting her relax against him. “Come on now, we need to get inside.”  
Riza nodded and they eased into her building together, quietly laboring down the hallway as they reached her door. She fumbled for her key in her bag before she gave in and found it in her pocket, inserting it in the doorknob and letting themselves enter unto her home. 

After kicking their shoes off by the door, they walked down the small corridor and into her kitchen. Riza flipped a light on and fell into the chair at her table, her strength had taken her as far as she could go. She let her bag fall to the ground. 

Black Hayate greeted her at her feet, and she petted his head, seeking comfort in his presence. She made a mental note to feed him in the morning, as she always did. He laid down by the chair and closed his eyes. 

“Here.” Roy handed her a glass of water and sat down across from her. “It’s a good thing we got a meal in before getting home, I think we’ll have to make a run for some groceries tomorrow.” 

Riza nodded. She caught her breath and sat up, removing her grey jacket and draping it over the back of her chair. She finished off the glass of water and steadied herself against the table as if she was about to stand. 

“Don’t hurt yourself,” Roy said and stood from his seat, taking her arm into his and letting her fall against his body. “You need rest, Riza. Come on, I’ll lay down with you.” 

“Thank you, Roy,” she managed. “I’m sorry for making you stay.” Her eyes brimmed with tears, but in the low light of her home, she hoped Roy wouldn’t notice. She hated wanting to hide her pain from him, she hated having to rely on him to walk her to her bed. She dreaded the room she used to keep dark, she dreaded having to endure another night plagued by nightmares. 

But she also cherished having Roy, to keep her from falling and carry her into her bed, caressing her cheek as he did so. To have him close to her meant she might get a chance at some rest. She needed rest. 

Roy helped her position comfortably in bed, propping a pillow beneath her head. He watched as she let herself relax against the mattress similar to how she did with him, her limbs twitching as they lost what tension they could. He lit the candle on her bedside table and turned to face her. 

“Is there anything you need me to do?” Roy asked and pushed the hair out of her eyes. His legs hung from the edge of the bed though he sat close to Riza. He held her hand, resting their hands against each other on her leg. 

Riza squeezed his hand, silent for a moment. “Will you,” she paused, unsure of her request of the man “lay with me, for just a little while? You don’t have to stay long, I —”

“I will.” Roy lifted his legs onto the bed and scooted to her side, watching her every reaction to his movement. He wanted to lay by her side in the hospital, but more than anything he wanted to lay with her now, to know she was comfortable and in some degree of peace. 

Riza turned on her side and faced him, her smile to be seen in the candlelight. She shed tears, and they glistened, the flame appearing in her eyes. Before she realized she was crying, Roy’s hand caressed her cheek, wiping the tears from her eyes. 

Just as he did so, her eyes fell shut and she didn’t bring them back open. 

Her breathing steadied, and within the minute, she was asleep. 

Roy sighed of relief and closed his eyes. And just as Riza did, he lost himself to exhaustion and fell asleep. 

* * *

It was the sound of gunfire from her nightmare that awoke Riza. When her eyes came open, she was engulfed in silence and darkness, her hand tightly gripped on what she believed to be her thigh, where a gun would have sat if she were armed. She loosened her grip and realized the hold she had wasn’t on her skin. She traced the lines on the skin, recognizing the pattern instantly. 

“Roy,” she said under her breath and wondered how long they’d been asleep. His breathing was stable, and thankfully, he hadn’t awoken underneath her tight grip. Riza slipped out of his embrace and placed a pillow to support his hand. She climbed out of bed and steadied herself before standing up. What little sleep she had gotten could keep her up long enough to get a shower, she thought and walked out of their bedroom, quietening her steps as she did so. 

Riza entered her bathroom and flipped on the lights She caught a glance at herself in the mirror and stopped cold in her tracks. She faced herself in the mirror, stared at her sunken eyes, and hoped that with Roy by her side, she’d fall asleep quickly as she had tonight. She shook her head and closed her eyes shortly, forgetting to acknowledge her surroundings in exhaustion. 

“Dear God, Riza Hawkeye, what the hell are you doing awake?” 

“Damn you, Roy Mustang, go back to sleep.” 

Riza opened her eyes and watched him enter the bathroom through the mirror, closing the door behind himself. She turned and leaned against the counter, letting out a heavy sigh. 

“It’s past one,” Roy informed, placing his pocket watch on the counter. “That’s the most sleep you’ve gotten since we were admitted.”

Riza didn’t meet his eyes. “You weren’t sleeping at night either, Roy.” 

“Only because I was listening to you. To make sure you were sleeping.” Roy eased closer to her, placing his hand on her cheek. 

Riza leaned into his hand. “Help me shower. Then I’ll come back to sleep.” She smiled at him. 

“Alright.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek. 

They were quiet as they undressed, a comfortable silence between them both. Riza set her clothes, loose and wrinkled from extended wear on the counter, and exhaled. She wouldn’t let herself succumb to exhaustion until her body laid in bed for the final time that night. 

Roy placed his clothes on the counter and turned on the shower, letting the water warm before signaling for Riza to enter. He held her hand as she stepped in with him, and he shut the curtain behind her. 

Their eyes fell over one another as the stream of the shower ran down their backs. Riza had never seen him entirely unclothed and due to the newfound nature of their relationship, heat rushed to her cheeks. Her eyes then reached the scar on his side, seared shut by his alchemy. She stretched out her hand and grazed the wound with the tips of her fingers. She raised her eyes in question. 

Roy pressed her hand against his side. “It’s healed for the most part. It hurts when I’m tired or stressed, though.” 

“Does it hurt now?” 

Roy shook his head. “It did before I got some sleep, but not now, thankfully.” He smiled at her, and his eyes fell to her neck. Deep, scabbed-over gashes ran across her skin, and Roy hovered his hand above the scars to detect any heat radiating from the scar. He felt none and held her jaw in his hand. 

Riza brought her hand from his side to the upper part of his chest, her fingers tracing the bones in his chest poking from beneath his skin. Their hospital stay had affected him more than she had initially realized. She felt his heartbeat under his chest as well, and a part of her was comforted by the sensation. 

His right hand traced her cheekbone while his left held her just above her stomach. His thumb ran across her ribs, and she noticed how it echoed the movement at the hospital.

“They weighed me in the wheelchair before I left the hospital,” Riza spoke, her voice low as she held her hand against his chest.

Roy’s heart sank. “Me too. I was down about 12 pounds,” he said and looked up at Riza.

“17,” Riza admitted, meeting his eyes. “Two weeks did a number on us.” She was silent for a moment.

“We’re unhealthy, Roy.” 

“I know.” 

Roy sighed and pressed a kiss to Riza’s forehead, closing the space between them. Her body was so warm, so alive, and so beautiful. He couldn’t imagine his life without her. 

“We’ll get better,” Roy stated, his voice matter-of-fact in tone. “We’ll be together, keeping one another in check, and we’ll get better. That’s what we always do, right?” He smiled at Riza. 

Riza nodded. “Right. Now please, can you help me wash my hair?” She chuckled lightly and smiled. 

“Of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> if you haven't already noticed, i REALLY enjoy writing Riza getting to be vulnerable with Roy, i think he's about the only person she would ever allow herself to be so intimate with, emotionally as well as physically (but we aren't there just yet). 
> 
> thank you for reading! leave a comment if you have any feedback, i do love getting them.


End file.
